


Guilt He Doesn't Deserve

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Angst, Chandler POV, Episode Tag, Episode: s08e14 The One with the Secret Closet, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Pining, Supportive Chandler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-08-21 23:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8264110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: Joey was guilty for having feelings for Rachel in the first place, as if having a thought not centered on Ross’s welfare was some kind of deep betrayal. He was berating himself and only making his situation worse. Chandler had to say something.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been watching a lot of season 8 lately for my drabbles, and I grew frustrated when I realized that we never saw anybody explicitly tell Joey that he wasn't wrong or bad when he expressed guilt about his feelings for Rachel. I think Chandler would have been the person most likely to say something, so I wrote this piece. This fic is a continuation of the conversation Joey and Chandler have at the end of 8.14 (TOW The Secret Closet). There's a brief reference to Joey's guilt over the Joey/Monica dream in 5.16 (TOW The Cop).

When Chandler learned that Rachel had moved in with Ross, he immediately went to go check up on Joey. Someone had to be concerned for Joey’s welfare, and he knew Joey would not feel sorry for himself.

Chandler had never seen Joey so depressed or guilty as he was since this Rachel thing started. The closest incident Chandler could remember was years ago when Joey had a weird, one-off dream that he and Monica were together. Luckily, Chandler had been able to help Joey understand that he didn’t actually have feelings for Monica. Chandler hated seeing Joey so miserable back then, and he seemed to be much more morose now that he actually had real feelings for Rachel.

When Chandler had talked to Joey yesterday, Joey had felt remorseful because Ross was missing out on stuff with the baby. Chandler could understand his guilt, especially when Joey said that the doctor had mistaken _him_ for the father of Rachel’s baby. Chandler had attempted to inject as much levity as he could into the conversation by referring to Joey’s “hideously inappropriate crush” and saying that Joey wasn’t doing anything wrong except “harboring an all-consuming love” for the woman carrying Ross’s child.

Now, sitting in a recliner next to his friend, Chandler knew that humor had been the wrong approach to this situation. 

“So, I suggested that maybe she should move in with Ross,” Joey recounted. “God, you should have seen his face. He looked so happy at the idea of them living together, and the way they both looked when they hugged each other… they’re probably going to get back together soon.” Chandler saw Joey’s eyes glistening with tears before he lifted his hand to cover them. “A part of me just wanted to get down on my knees and beg her to stay with me,” Joey said, with a new, bitter tone that he hadn’t used in the conversation until this moment. “I can’t even be happy for them! I’m such a terrible friend, Chandler.”

Chandler reflected on what Joey just told him. He hadn’t realized that Joey had been the one to suggest that Ross and Rachel live together. When Monica announced this development to him, it sounded like a mutual decision Ross and Rachel had made together. He had no idea how Joey could manage to persuade the woman he loved to move in with her ex-boyfriend. Chandler wasn’t sure that he would have the strength to do the same thing if he had been in Joey’s place. Still, it was a typically Joey thing to do. He always put his friends before himself.

As he analyzed Joey’s words, Chandler recognized that Joey was not just guilty for his dream about Rachel or for the awkward situations in which he had inadvertently been placed in the past few days. He was guilty for having feelings for Rachel in the first place, as if having a thought not centered on Ross’s welfare was some kind of deep betrayal. He was berating himself and only making his situation worse.

Chandler had to say something. “Look man, you’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself.”

Joey lowered his hand, and Chandler could see that Joey had, in fact, been crying. “You don’t think I’ve been trying, Chandler?! I’ve been doing everything I can to make these feelings go away, but they won’t, no matter what I do!” Joey raised his arms in frustration. “One time, I even stayed up all night making a list of everything I don’t like about Rachel, but all I could come up with was the light mayo thing, and I don’t even care about that!” Joey lowered his head to his hands and tugged on his hair as if he wanted to rip it out by the roots.

Chandler shook his head at the bizarre non sequitur at the end of Joey’s impassioned rant. He sighed and chose his next words carefully. “I didn’t mean that, Joe. I meant that you have got to stop feeling so guilty about this.”

Joey let go of his hair and looked at Chandler as if he were crazy. “But it’s wrong! What about the rules, and Ross, and the baby— ”

“I’m not saying you should try to pursue Rachel or anything,” Chandler interrupted. “But you shouldn’t be tearing yourself apart over something you have no control over in the first place.” Joey glared at him skeptically. “And you shouldn’t be criticizing yourself for not wanting to do a celebratory dance that Ross and Rachel might get back together. Do you think I would be happy if Monica had gotten back together with Richard?”

Joey pouted and crossed his arms sullenly. “That’s different, though.”

“Maybe,” Chandler acknowledged. “But that’s not the point, anyway. The point is, you did the right thing, _like you always do_. And yet you’re still laying a guilt trip on yourself about it. What you’re going through is tough enough already, and you’re only making it harder on yourself.” Chandler paused to see how Joey was reacting to this and saw that he remained unconvinced. He could be so stubborn sometimes. “Look, I know you wouldn’t be Joey if you didn’t feel guilty about this, but can you at least _promise_ to think about what I said?”

Joey waved his right hand as if were swatting an irritating fly. “Yeah, yeah, I promise.” His eyes softened and he looked at Chandler gratefully. “Thanks, man.”

Chandler smiled slightly. “You’re welcome, buddy.” He picked up the remote on the side table between the two chairs and turned on the television. “I have a couple hours until I have to get back home for dinner, so let’s try to take your mind off of this for a while.”

Chandler settled on ESPN and hoped that the inane chatter of the sportscasters would give Joey something to focus on besides Rachel. Every now and then, he snuck glances at his friend and was glad to see that he didn’t look as if he was carrying the entire weight of the world on his shoulders anymore. Joey clearly still wasn’t okay, however, and Chandler vowed to himself that he would continue to support Joey no matter what.


End file.
